Band Baaja & Music
Disclaimer: Music served as shor from starters to dessert
Written By- Adhya Krish
It was a fine Sunday morning, I was sipping adrakwali chai (ginger tea) in my balcony and my peppy cousin was cleaning her bookshelf. She has recently turned 12 now and as promised her parents gifted her an exclusive high-end phone on her pre-teen birthday, celebrated with much jollity and brouhaha. Their motto in life was simple- ‘Live to the fullest. Kal kisne dekha hai’ and therefore they were adored by our family children and were the most popular pair in our family. I was about to open the editorial page of the Times Of India when, a loud trumpeting noise shook my ears.
'What the hell!' I exclaimed as I had upset my cup of tea when my cousin chuckled- 'Its Mrs. Jain’s son’s sangeet. I think they have started.' I stared at the mantle clock- Sangeet at 9 am? 'Yes. Didn’t you see the invite on whatsapp?' 'They have sent the invite on whatsapp?' I inquired. In answer to this, my cousin giggled. 'Yes.' 'But, we are just a block away,' I said. Are they so lazy that they won’t even walk for a block to invite us? I mused.
'Chetna aunty was also saying the same thing. She said she won’t go,' my cousin added fervently. Before I could open my mouth to agree with Chetna aunty, the Jains’ evidently increased the volume of the music so much that I couldn’t hear my own fart. It must be those heavy set speakers as the windows and my front door rattled on the rhythm of the music.
'God! Not on Sunday morning,' I groaned. That’s the only day I take off from my work. 'Oh! Its not just Sunday morning, its whole day Sunday,' my cousin hollered at top of her voice in the din.'What?' I yelled back and suddenly the music stopped. Apparently, they were checking the systems and the volumes.'Its whole day- starting with Sangeet, followed by Haldi, wedding in the afternoon and reception in the night,' said my cousin grinning at my bewilderment.
To me, it sounded like a Europe travel package of three days and two nights that indulges- 1 day tour of London, 1 day in Edinburgh and 1 day in Glasgow. A day in London and you can boost that you have visited the country. Pfft...You need one complete day, just to get a whiff of Heathrow airport.
'What kind of wedding is this?' I finally spoke up as the music started again but considerably on a lower volume. 'Its ‘Chat mangni pat byah’ wedding. People don’t have so much time, I mean they have office and school so.' 'I remember I attended your parents wedding when I was 12 and at that time dad took off from office for six days and I graciously skipped my school for a week.' 'I know I have seen your pictures with papa. But, today dulha-dulhan themselves don’t have time. They haven’t got off from their work.'
'How do you know that?' I know everything, said my cousin airily. 'The boy works in MNC and the girl works in a bank so they had the option of taking holidays for wedding or for honeymoon and they chose the second option.' Great! So I have to endure this band-baaja whole day. On the cue, the songs started blaring again- Ek kunwara, fir gaya mara....With another grin, my cousin danced to kitchen to check on the breakfast with my mother.
It was about 2 in the afternoon, when I decided to take a quick nap. For last one hour, god bless... there was no music and I had peacefully finished my book. Tenu ghodi kinne chadaya bhootni ke...., Munni badnam hui...., Fevicol se...., DJ Wale Babu..., Ladki kar gayi chul...., Baby doll mai sone di.... one by one the songs of Jain’s sangeet replayed in my mind as I tried hard to sleep. After half an hour of struggle, I was finally feeling the advent of the blissful unconsciousness when they started drumming dhols. Damn! I woke up with a jerk and strained my neck muscles just that moment.
Why? Why? Why so loud? I shouted out of agony when my cousin peeped in the room- Because it’s their shaadi. I was assured that the drummers are not going to rest and so wouldn't I. Jain’s wedding had officially ruined my Sunday. Driven by my willpower, I decided to watch TV. Maybe they are showcasing some new movies. After 10 minutes of browsing, I settled on cartoon channel. Because, on one channel they were showing- crime patrol with sleazy scenes (attention! How to commit crime in different ways), on another channel they were showing the replay of all the series and on the movies channel- the same movies were repeated with an exception of- Nagin nachey gali gali and Aaj ka Gundaraj.
No thank you. After playing dhols vigorously for an hour or so the shor was finally gone. It was 4 pm when the official band baaja started. I peered from my balcony to catch the live wedding procession. But, down in the building there was no one but the ‘Sundari band’ people, cladded in their trademark red attire. I waited for few minutes and then one of the men in his full voice croaked in the mic- Hello, hello, 1,2,3,4....hello and then started the official anthem of wedding sons- Aaj toh mere yaar ki shaadi hai.... which sounded to me as – Aaj toh mere baap ki shaadi hai. Sighing, I returned inside my living room and closed all the windows and doors as my sensitive ears couldn’t take anymore. And then started- Yeh desh hai veer jawano ka... I was huddled between the pillows, closing my ears from the cushions when my mom announced that we need to get ready by 9 as we are eating out.
Good! I thought. Atleast I will get few minutes break from this shor. Little did I know, that my beloved family had planned to go to Jain’s reception and I was their 'tricked-puppy'. I realised their jiggery-pokery when I reached the reception of Kunal weds Dipika.
'No way mom...I am not going in,' I groaned.
'Why not? They have specially invited you. Your name was on the top of the invitation,' my mother said. 'Whatsapp invitation?' I said. 'Its a courtesy. We can’t make any excuse. We live in the same building.'
'Oh! Look Chetna Aunty and Tinu,' my cousin squealed. 'Don’t shout on my ears,' I said. I believe Chetna Aunty was also thinking on the same line as my mother. Atleast, they have invited. And, so I agreed to venture in the venue on the condition that after a quick wish and dinner and we will leave. Kunal and Dipika, the couple looked happy and tired. The heavy make-up couldn’t conceal their sleep-deprived eyes. But, they were keeping up diligently with the guests.
I was just in the middle of the dinner when the shor started again- this time with Chaudhavi ka chand ho song. Old songs, even on high volume are always melodious. So, I didn’t complain. And then the track surprisingly changed to Waada karle sajna, followed by Jab koi baat bigad jaaye.
Are they playing these songs on purpose? I mused loudly. Oh Yes! Don't you realise its a complete buffet, said my cousin happily. She elaborated her statement on my confused expression. Chaudhavi ka chand- the first song after marriage is for eulogizing your lover, followed by Waada Karle sajna and Jab koi baat bigad jaaye- the songs meant for making life-long promises. Shut up, you two, my mother admonished. But, my cousin's proposition was established when the rest of the songs played.
I was just gulping a spoonful of vanilla icecream when this song started- Zindagi ki na toote ladi... and now I wondered who would demand this song in the middle of romantic wedding. As if it was not enough, the songs thereby proceeded were- Jaane kyun log mohabbat kiya karte hai..., Hum the jinke sahare...., Kisi raah par, kisi mod par...., mere naseeb mein tu hai ki nahi.
By the end of the last song, we were back in the car, driving to our home. Apparently, my mother had enough of the music and socialising. As, I took the main road, I couldn't help wonder that perhaps my cousin was right. Mr. Jain son’s wedding shor was definitely no less than a complete buffet.
It all started with the very first song of the morning- Ek kunwara fir gaya mara , to Aaj mere yaar ki shaadi hai, to Waada karle sajna, to jaane kyun log mohabbat kiya karte hai....
Written By- Adhya Krish